There is a lot of talk about sacred and divine femininity, without much thinking into the humanness of femininity itself, and how it connects to the natural selves humans actually are. This division brings forth a cognitive dissonance into how we’re supposed to be vs how we actually are - the ego needs to survive after all, and raw emotions come to the surface which can cause a disruption in the mental, emotional and spiritual inner realms, and by consequence, in the outter reality.
The same happens to masculinity, but on the contrary side of the agenda, it’s often talked about as toxic, as we hear often, misogynist and patriarchal, as if the men that were educated by our parents today have a historical fault and all the responsibility in how history unfolded until now.
Men and women alike were and are raised this day and age with an enormous gap on emotional resillience. It’s not a gender problem, it’s a societal problem. We, as kids, were not taught about our emotions, both genders were told to “suck it up”, to “be quiet”, to “accept authority as it is” and so forth. As we grew older, we resented each other when we show emotion, raw and truthful emotion. We save our emotional aspects to the ones close to us, who are often the victims of our misplaced anger and emotional volatility.
Women are the first victims of mental health afflictions by statistical analysis, but in fact there is a widening of alcoholism and drug use amongst the male population, and as it is established, drug use and alcohol abuse comes from emotion supression and denial of more negative mental states. We all know we go to the pub to drown our sorrows, women drink whole bottles of wine alone in their apartments or hidden in the kitchen while their families are asleep, men do it openly and publicly because not only it is socially accepted as it is reveered and encouraged. Social permition of excessive alcohol consumption aside, there is also a social acceptance from both men and women alike of a state of being that does not encompass the inner human reality we all share, beyond gender.
Emotional resillience calls for the ability to not drown our sorrows in alcohol or drugs, but to accept reality as it is - inner and outer - and to make the changes necessary for a healthy and productive life. This all seems easy, but it’s possibly the hardest task this generation has to face. Not only with alcohol or drug use, but also with other addictions such as consumerism, political dualities and holier-than-thou political opinions of division and hatred for the other.
How can we have any kind of equality if we don’t understand or even accept The Other? If we don’t learn othering, we can’t appreciate the natural beauty of a fair share of opportunities and pay, of treatment and respect, of appreciation regardless of personal taste, and so forth.
How can we have any kind of equality if we don’t learn the similarities and only learn the differences? If the widening gap between all genders, is not explained without the rage of disatisfaction or guilt trips of surpressed anger?
How can we have any kind of equality if we continuously, as a society, can’t accept men as being passive, submissive, prone to abuse, traumatized, depressed, and so on, so on. How can we have any kind of equality when the only accepted way of being is the priveledged white mentally healthy, gym fit, workaholic, family person, car driving, house owning and emotionally-well-put male that is simply a rare breed nowadays.
Ethnical division aside, but not that aside, how can we have any sort of equality if it’s more and more division we propagate?
If the ideal man for most women is the described above? If our generation does not accept equality, how can we demand it? We demand of each other perfection, when in fact we all refuse to accept that our imperfections are what make us whole.
We have a long way to go before we stop the division in gender, and a longer way to go before we accept the Other. There won’t be any social change unless this inner quest starts happening, there won’t be any equality as long as we see each other as inherintely different, with the need for labeling ourselves as this or that in order to demand a change we refuse to pursue ourselves.
As a society, the white priveledged male and female alike, hold a place of power. If we do not act according to humane values and torture each other senselessly with demands of perfection without an inner quality look inside, how can we demand a social change?
We are all hypocrites in our own way, so lets accept that hypocrisy and change it. Learn to deal with our emotions and be in control of what we give out to the world.
Gandhi said it best “Be the change you wish to see in the world” - but do we understand it? Do we want a world of rage and division, of carelessness and isolation, of mistrust and disrespect? It takes a village, and it’s a global one.